My Personal Court

Lisa Frideborg of Angelorum recently posted this fun exercise on my favourite tarot Facebook group, the 3 of Cups Tarot Community, to explore the court cards and the elements of their personalities that are dominant within us. My draw pretty much nailed it, so I thought it might be nice to share it here!

So, the exercise is as follows:

  1. After you have separated the court cards from the rest of the deck choose one that you feel best represents you. Write down some of the reasons why you feel the closest connection to this card, return it to your court pile and shuffle.
  2. Cards face-down, select another card. This represents the hidden, inner, lunar you, the deeper layers of personality that you don’t always show to the world and perhaps don’t even own fully for yourself. Take some notes and return it to your pile and shuffle again.
  3. Pull another face-down card. This represent how you are perceived in your closest relationships. Same process, take notes, return to pile and shuffle one final time
  4. Draw another card face down. This card represents your public face, the way that your boss and co-workers who you aren’t close with see you.
  5. Finish writing down your final first-impression notes, did any particular court card appear more than once? Is one elemental suit more dominant than another? Do the court attributes appear to complement or contradict one another?

It might also be an idea to add to this journal entry as you meet with different people, noting down similarities or differences in your interaction style to the court cards you selected.

Anyway, onto my reading, I decided to use the Mary El. It’s funny, those moments when you understand how attuned you are to certain decks, because none of these cards came as a surprise. The order was unexpected, but all of these cards appear frequently in my personal readings:

mary el court

1. Self-identified me: The Queen of Cups – This queen is my astrological court (there are a few different ways to calculate this, however I have used the Crowley Thoth method, which you can calculate here over at Raven’s Tarot Site) and also the one that correlates to my Myers-Briggs type, INFJ. She’s also one of my long time stalker cards, although it is only recently that I have really started to identify with her. As I am drawn deeper into spiritual thought and practice I have started unlocking feelings, thoughts and intuitive responses that have been ignored and repressed for a long time. It’s not so much that I feel I am becoming her, more like I am finally starting to own this more dominant aspect of myself and embrace it. I’ve always had strong ‘cup’ tendencies, but have felt compelled to harden these aspects for self-preservation.

2. Hidden me: The Page of Swords, mhmmmm, yes. I do suppress how confrontational I am, and I have a pretty loud bullshit radar! When someone crosses a line I often I won’t say anything, but whatever was said or done to ping that radar is locked away and never forgotten, which means I can have a tendency to keep lasting negative judgments towards people, usually without their knowledge. This is something about myself that I am trying to work on by exploring the shadow side of myself, particularly how intensely self-critical I am when I feel that I have misspoken or made a mistake – an aspect that I may be projecting onto others. Also like the Page of Swords I feel a seemingly innate distrust and dislike of authority figures and anything that has even a whiff of dogma about it.

On a lighter note, I do also see this card as representing some positive aspects of myself too, in particular my love of listening to, reading and communicating new ideas. It sometimes surprises me, and probably would surprise others who don’t know me so well, just how much information I can and wish to consume, absorb and discuss on any given day. I don’t really have the chance to express this side of myself in everyday ‘real’  life, but online groups, Skype dates with my mum and this blog have afforded me a wonderful opportunity to indulge more in the area of my personality that finds joy in exploring and playing around with ideas and language.

3. Close relationships me: The Queen of Wands – I behave very differently with my loved ones than I do with general acquaintances. In larger social situations I tend to stick to the walls and observe, kind of dipping in and out to find if there’s someone about I can really relate to. When I am with my “tribe” though I am very outgoing and chatty and love nothing more than enthusiastic, animated conversation and lots of laughter.

4. Professional and acquaintances me: Again, yep! I can definitely see how I can appear this way to those I am not close to. If I don’t feel an instant connection I can seem pretty distant. I’m still happy to engage with plenty of people, however if I don’t get that feeling of simpatico, I don’t really open up. It’s gotten back to me more than a few times that people have said that I am difficult to get to know. I don’t mean to be, but if it’s not there I find it almost impossible (and incredibly draining and unpleasant) to fake it. That said, I have a good sense of humour, am thoughtful and truthful, which can often mean that people are quick to open up and seek me out for advice. That openness is something I find difficult to reciprocate, but at the end of the day, even the most casual acquaintances of mine know that I am trustworthy and if they are ever in need of something I can be relied upon to help.

Overall, a very interesting result, with lots for me to think about! The presence of three Queens was a rather nice affirmation that I am overall a pretty capable person, not without faults, but in a suitable stage of maturity. It’s also interesting to me that the “hidden” aspect is also the one I felt compelled to write the most about, like it is chomping at the bit, waiting to burst free.

If anyone decides to do this exercise please feel free to share in the comments, I’d love to hear about it!


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